17 years

Has it really been that long since I graduated? Yes.. yes it has…

My brother Chris, Myself & My brother Mackenna

I grew up in various states but I did graduate in New Jersey. I have since moved from NJ but I miss it greatly. I love the people and the ocean. I do hope to live near the ocean again someday. I have had the opportunity to live on both coasts, so I have gotten to experience the differences. Being landlocked right now isn’t too much fun.

I still cannot believe that I am now in my 30s. I don’t FEEL 35 years old but here I am. I am older than my mother was when she had me. I never planned on living in New Mexico, but life likes to throw things at you. And sometimes you have to roll with the punches. I was living in Indiana, with my son’s father when he told me he didn’t ever love me. So I told him I was moving in with family (my mother) who happened to move to New Mexico the year before. And I followed through…

I met my husband a little over 10 years ago after moving here to New Mexico. And honestly he is the only reason I stay here. I don’t mind the weather…but I miss green…. I miss forests… I miss the ocean. I just can’t be land locked forever. My husband knows this too. And eventually we will move closer to a coastal town, just not any time soon, especially with COVID running rampant.

Ugh but still….where did those 17 years go? I swear that 12 years ago wasn’t even that long ago…

12

In less than a month, my son will be 12. He will be experiencing his LAST year before becoming a teenager. I remember when I was 12, it’s crazy to think that was 23 years ago. I am still friends with some of those people who I met back in middle school. I remember the struggles I was going through as a preteen, trying to fit in, like always.

It’s sometimes sad to think that he won’t experience everything an average kid does because of our homeschool situation, but then I think about the positive things he can experience as well. He loves to read and swim, and he can do those any day at any time. We can join an activity once things open back up again, eventually. He can take a break from things, if he needs it. Unlike at public school, where you have to go by their schedule.

Today I requested information from his past two occupational therapists. I received ALL the records from one, while I am still waiting to hear back from the other one. The one I am waiting on is from the public school, and of course they are “out” for a while. So I may not hear from her for a while. But the Autism testing place was requesting these “type” of records for review, before scheduling him, so I am trying to get records that will reflect his over all mental, behavioral and general wellness so they can properly evaluate him.

#1 Dysgraphia – I need to ask his pcp to send us to someone to help us with this. I have tried to help him but I am utterly just not prepared. Nothing I do helps.

#2 Possible Austim Spectrum – this is something that we have suspected for a while – but his old PCP and his psychiatrist disagree with one another on the DX.

#3 Behavioral Therapy – I really want to get him into a behavioral therapist again. We stopped when our old therapist moved away and we did not like the new one. He just won’t talk to her. But then the clinic we saw won’t move us to another therapist because they wanted us to stick with the “new lady”. Nope… so we are struggling finding a new office that will accept our insurance…and we also have a few clinics that we DON’T like already…just in general. I had one place really yell at us bc my son’s ADHD caused issues in school and this Dr. wanted to dope him up A LOT. No… he is medicated but …he will not be DOPED up.

#4 Find a new Psychiatrist – so his psych dr is getting old. And is becoming less and less helpful to our situation as things change. That’s it. We would like someone who is more…aware of new treatments and will work with us.

Today I texted my ex (my son’s dad) and kind of let him know more about what is going on with our son. We don’t always see eye to eye and its hard to co-parent when you live 1,000 miles away. He usually visits his father during the summers but COVID-19 had us on alert and we have suspended his visit until further notice. His father can take him later in the year if things lift a little. I just cannot fathom putting my son on an airplane alone during these months.

I love my son. No matter the things we go through. I may get stressed. But what parent doesn’t get stressed? We all get stressed.

My son’s relationship with his step dad and HIS family is getting better. I think people didn’t realize the struggles we went through. People are more supportive as of lately. Minus the people who cut us out of their lives in the past. Okay okay the toddler is going to get up, so I have to go. But I’ll be back later.

Thank you all for the support you have given me. Especially my twitter followers. You guys rock. You all are my friends and family.

Rice

I really hate food trials. Emotionally I get worn out when we do them. I start a mental stopwatch and keep an eye on my daughter every time we start a new food…or retry a food she has had a reaction to in the past.

This week we re-tried rice. I decided to use a food product that had rice as a secondary ingredient, instead of going with straight rice. I don’t want to have to make a trip to the hospital during COVID-19 if I don’t HAVE to. I have medicine at home to control any vomiting and I know how to handle an FPIES reaction at home as long as it doesn’t lead to SHOCK. Which we have had happen before. We didn’t know anything about FPIES back them.

Anyways, for 2 days we increased her exposure to a cookie that has rice as an ingredient. The first day she seemed to be doing well. She was going poop a few more times than usual, but that could be ANYTHING.

So on day 2, I gave her 2 cookies. And she really enjoyed them, A LOT. But through the day she seemed a bit cranky. She would hide when she pooped. (She is still in diapers). Anyways the last 2 stools were gritty and acidic. She ended up with a horrible diaper rash. That is one sign of her stomach not liking SOMETHING she ate and the only NEW item introduced to her was the rice cookie. So I will be giving her some gut rest for a few days until we return to our normal output.

Once she is back to normal I will discuss starting the trial again to rule out a fluke reaction. If we get the same reaction we will consider it an acute fail, and we will retrial in another 6 months. Thankfully most kids outgrow FPIES but some don’t. The fact that she did not vomit everywhere …is comforting to me. It makes me think, maybe she will outgrow this eventually.

Sorry baby girl – no “best treasure cookies” until your tummy feels better ❤

Growing up

My kids never cease to amaze me. I officially let my son go from grade 6 to grade 7 in homeschool. My daughter is working on pre-school stuff at home. I am not buying her a curriculum yet, but we are following some online guides for free. She does use ABC Mouse to learn basic songs and letters in the meantime but we don’t really follow it fully right now.

If you follow me on twitter, you will have seen that I did organize my son’s new homeschool materials. Yes, new… we are switching our curriculum. I didn’t HATE the other one but I let my son have a say in how he wants to continue his education. We went over the benefits of online classes vs. books or literature based education and since he enjoys reading we chose a literature based learning system, Sonlight.

I am going to start off by mentioning that I am not “Christian”, and sometimes people point that out when they see the curriculum that I chose for my child. Yes, it is a Christian curriculum. I believe that raising a child with a religious background is important. Now personally I have nothing against Christians. I was raised Christian. But I switched LONG AGO – and my son’s father and I agreed he would be raised Christian. So HERE we are!

Anyways, SONLIGHT, is a curriculum of many books…. just take a look…

HERE IS OUR “BOX DAY” PHOTO

YUP those are ALL his books for 7th grade

Anyways here are the books put away in his room – sort of organized by WEEK.

I labeled all of those books by which week he has to start reading them based on the curriculum notes. He also received a math kit with DVD and a science kit! I am waiting for his spelling books to come in the mail, since I ordered those a little late. But I am getting used to this new curriculum style. We did online learning last year since we were jumping into this as new homeschoolers and I worked a lot at that point still.

My son is entering his pre-teen age. So I took the liberty to go through his room with him and get rid of all of his “baby toys”. He kept the items he actually still plays with, he passed some toys down to his sister, and we are donating what ever is not broken. His room looks NICE for once. It was very cluttered for a while there. I had him crawl under his bed and get out EVERYTHING. It was so dusty even though I do vacuum under it weekly.

Next will be my daughter’s room. I will be placing things she has grown out of into boxes for our next child (if that ever happens).

But today I am just enjoying being a mom. Watching my kids swim in the pool. I am enjoying having a wonderful family who is supportive of me. I am thankful for my health. And even though my hours keep getting cancelled at work because we do not have enough work for PRNs to be on the schedule during COVID-19, I am thankful my husband’s job is still stable and that we are financially secure right now.

I miss working, but it has given me time to make over 1000 masks and mail them out to friends, family, strangers, online friends and medical professionals. I have had time to spend more time with my son. To help my daughter learn new things and grow. I have been able to relax. Oh and we bought a truck last week. That was pretty cool.

Just another day

It’s raining right now. I think this is one of the things I miss. I moved to New Mexico 10 1/2 years ago after my son’s father and I split up, after he cheated on me. I moved to Indiana to be with him, dumb idea, but I wanted to make things work. We had a child very early on in our relationship. My son was NOT planned. But most things in life are not planned.

Anyways, I am not from New Mexico. It’s dry here. And I still haven’t figured out how to act like a local. That seems to be how life goes for me everywhere I move. I don’t really fit in but oh well. Anyways it’s raining tonight and the smell is intoxicating. I love to hear the rain hitting the pavement. I miss living in an area with trees. And NO I am not talking about the ones in people’s yards… I miss living in places with MORE trees. I have asked others who have moved here what they thought of how brown the landscape is and they also agree that they miss the green trees as well.

I don’t want to grow old here. But I don’t hate it. I can’t explain it. I just don’t feel like my life will be complete here. I told my husband that I want to try to plan our next trip. We tend to go to national parks, so keeping up with that theme… I have never been to the grand canyon. So maybe when things start to get better…eventually…we will go. Not now. But eventually.

I have other places on my list as well but I have to plan out places that I can see in a row.

In other news, today I got so much done. I cleaned my entire house. I have to organize rooms a bit but the cleaning is done. I was able to wake up on time and make gluten free paleo waffles for my youngest child and regular Belgium waffles for the rest of my family. I have finally found a good egg replacement for my daughter’s foods.

I have slowed down on making masks for right now. I make them a few days of the week now. I have been trying to plan my son’s homeschool curriculum out and spending more time with them. My back pain is getting better little by little ever since my doctor put me on Cymbalta for the Neuropathic pain. I still have the other pains that I am kind of stuck with until my other doctor schedules surgery. Still nothing from them though.

I have had over 2 years of pain in my back that severely limited what I would do, because I would suffer later. So to feel less pain and some days I am lucky enough to feel no pain. It’s amazing. My new pcp is amazing, where my older one ignored my medical concerns.

My MRI for my back pains is coming up next month. My doctor warned me that we may not find anything new, and to be prepared for that. But he also wants to take a look. So I mean, that’s better then the last doctor who didn’t even look, she didn’t bother at all. God I am so glad she retired.

I think when people hear that I have back pain, they try to associate it with pains they have felt…like when you pull a muscle. This is incorrect by the way… the pain is in my SPINE. INSIDE of it. The pain feels like someone is trying to go through my spine. Laying down is the only way to not get pain some days. But with these medications I can sit, I can stand, I can play with my kids. I don’t think people realize how much that much pain can take away from a person. The things I couldn’t do because I didn’t feel well, not because I was lazy.

I don’t know if I can call it chronic pain at this point. But it changed the quality of my life drastically. And to not be taken seriously by my doctor really hurt me.

At least we know that we have something for now to help.

Zenni Optical, that’s a YES for me!

I am not lying when I’m telling you that I love my new glasses. I decided this year that I just wanted new frames. My prescription was the same, so technically I didn’t HAVE to but I didn’t really like the frames I got 2 years ago.

When I was looking online at different online sellers, my husband suggested Zenni, based off of a coworker. So I took a look into it and found the prices to be very affordable. I was a bit worried that the quality would be terrible, but I took a leap of faith and bought myself a pair of glasses AND a pair of prescription sunglasses.

The total cost was about $117. I did get a discount code the weekend I ordered, I believe I got 30% off of the lens stuff, like tint and scratch resistance. Anyways it only took them 2 weeks to deliver them to my door. I anxiously opened the package and tried on my glasses and they fit PERFECTLY. I love the colors. They are good quality!

AND NO THIS IS NOT A PAID ADVERTISEMENT….THEY DID NOT SPONSOR ME – but I mean if they wanted to – hit me up Zenni!

So which lenses did I choose?

I took a poll and these were some of the top voted….

The top pair were my sunglasses and yes they are tinted. And the bottom pair are my regular day to day glasses. I went with a bright color after my husband insisted that I could pull them off. I was worried I would look too childish and was almost going to go with black or a darker color like I always do.

I am very happy that I went with a brighter pair, they just brighten up my day. Anyways my favorite part of picking out glasses is trying them on. Since this was an online purchase I had to do their virtual try on mode, which was actually pretty neat! I am glad they gave me that option because it really helped me narrow down my choices!

So here I am with my new glasses on: (no make up so sorry about my face) LOL

And here are my sunglasses!

I really like the fit. I may even buy a few more pairs in the next few months just so I have a few options of glasses to wear. Glasses used to be so expensive that I could only own ONE pair, but with these prices, I don’t feel too bad about buying a few pairs.

Anyways, if you are tired of paying HUNDREDS of dollars for your glasses, check out ZenniOptical.com . Again they are NOT sponsoring me or paying me. I paid for my products. I just really enjoy them and want to share this site. I know I am not the ONLY one who hates paying $300-400 for glasses.

Now in the next few months I am going to get my KIDS’ eyes checked out – if any of them need glasses…. I think you all know where I am shopping. So far their eyes are not bad though.

Oh no not the dentist…

Tomorrow is probably going to be pretty rough for my son. You all know he has sensory processing disorder as well as ADHD, a mood disorder and adjustment disorder. Anyways tomorrow he will be going to a maxiofacial surgeon. My son has problems with his teeth like I had as a teen, yes he is following footsteps of required extensive dental work.

This is my son (photo above) pointing at some of his oddly placed teeth. This is an old photo from about a year ago.

So his teeth are WAYYY up near his sinuses, he might actually never get those down, we are still undecided…if they CAN be brought down. I had the SAME issue but with ONE tooth, and it was not THAT high… they brought it down with surgery in my late 20’s . Anyways his might be too high up, per the orthodontist (and yes he is using the SAME Orthodontist I used a few years ago). He is also missing some of his front adult teeth, so that can be tricky. And at age 11 (almost 12) he has only lost about 4 teeth….which is about where I was at and I ended up having 4 baby teeth pulled when I was ALMOST 30 years old… my teeth only look nice now because I had an amazing set of dentists, who are now working on my son.

He is really upset about his gap in his teeth, which I also had. Anyways tomorrow marks the first set of teeth we are getting pulled. We were supposed to get them pulled in March but our state locked down the day before! Anyways its going to be rough, he has had dental surgery for a “spot” on his gums in the past, and that was fine, but he is TERRIFIED of needles and pain is just 10x worse for him because of his SPD. So I will be there alone with him and I may have to hold him down for the shots he will be getting in his mouth. He really doesn’t do well with shots.

Anyways, about that… about a year ago his old dr suggested I get him tested for Autism. A lot of his behavior may be explained better. Anyways I contacted the facility that said they didn’t take our insurance last year that does testing in our area and surprise surprise…they STILL don’t take our insurance for testing…..BUT they would for treatment? I don’t even understand. But it would be $1,500 to have him tested out of pocket….. which is not doable right now. Anyways I am going to see if there are any other resources in my area because my insurance is not changing any time soon and I really would like him to get back into Occupational Therapy again soon. We are having some difficulties and I would like support.

Has anyone had autism testing done on your child recently? At what age? Was it a service YOU paid for or your insurance? Did you do it through your school? We homeschool so thats not a great option for us at this time. BUT we have been holding back and I am tired of holding back. I want to get some answers and I want support to help him out in ways he needs.

Life is not terrible but if I could understand why he did certain things and how to handle them better.

#BlackLivesMatter

See the source image

During these very difficult times, during the stressors of COVID-19, we need to fight for the injustices that have been plaguing a very large portion of our population for YEARS. #BlackLivesMatter

Speak up if you see an injustice.

Support your fellow man/woman.

Protest – PEACEFULLY.

We can make changes. And we can open eyes.

POST YOUR SUPPORT TO YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA FOR THOSE WHO SUFFER DAILY FROM RACISM/DISCRIMINATION.

I hate shopping alone

As a person with social anxiety disorder, I really have to admit that I hate shopping alone. I love bringing my kids everywhere with me because I can focus on them instead of everyone else. I know that may seem weird to some of you but I honestly have an easier time when I am with someone else.

Every week going alone is just getting so boring. I mean at least I don’t get looks for wearing my mask anymore. I used to have to wear it randomly through the year because I have something called VCD and it makes me cough a lot. Wearing a mask helps me keep stuff out of my airway and it also is nicer when I am coughing so much, so people don’t give me rude stares.

I try so hard to not look at people when they have an obvious medical problem, because I personally hate the stares.

It’s like when I have to wear kinesio tape. People really stare at you when you are wearing different colored tape all over your arms, but people like me…. I get fun stuff like carpal tunnel and I also have a knee disorder where my patella has some issues staying on track. So at one time I had tape literally all over me! And I picked fun colors.

Lately I have had pains in my arms and wrists again so the tape might be coming back out!

I always feel so broken.

And I know its okay.

I spent some of my day cutting out new masks from the new fabric I got this past week. I need to just sew them all together over the next few days. I mailed out 9 packages today. Over all I have spent over $200 in shipping costs mailing masks out, but thankfully I have had donations to help me. Especially since I don’t have any hours at work right now.

I am almost at 800 masks made. My goal is to hit 1000 before I have to have surgery. Because I don’t know when I will be able to do more after that. But of course I have not heard back from my doctors office this week. Not yet.

I just want this surgery over with.

My mother is ready to come out and help me with the kids while my husband continues to work. I am thankful I still have her around to help me. I have been enjoying the pool while I still can. I know once I get surgery it will be off limits. Oh well….

I have been enjoying teaching my daughter how to hold her breath in the water and hanging out with my son. We have a lot of fun now a days. Last year was a good and bad changing point for us. Good in so many ways…. bad in that I lost 2 people forever. (My grandma in law and my own grandma have both passed over a year ago now). I miss both of them so much.

Other things like how school has changed for us…starting homeschool last year…. going on that family trip… just getting away from toxic friendships. That helped us. I grew closer to family members and they showed support to me and my family. My MIL and FIL love hanging out with my kids, and I love how supportive they are of my husband and I. They are the best.

I don’t miss toxic friends. I don’t miss knowing people would talk about me and my family. I don’t miss the way people treat my son. True friends would have spoken to me… not about me.

As for family, yes eventually we will all be family again. But I don’t have to be forced into any friendships anymore. No lies. And I don’t have to let anyone step on me or talk bad about my son again. It’s just sad and disappointing that people don’t know how to apologize for something they know is wrong… my son was 10 years old and outcasted… my first child…the one who went through some of the toughest moments of my life… the child who was given up by his father… the child who has been in therapy since he was 3 because he struggles. The child who has no friends because others don’t understand him…. ADHD…adjustment disorders… sensory processing disorder…..

No wonder he never fit in with you. Open your eyes and accept others for who they are and offer to work with them. A parent could be struggling to help their child fit in and you may not know it or may not care. But we are learning and growing. This is a first for me…. my son was my first child. And he prepared me for the struggles I would go through…

My daughter has sensory issues too and I know eventually we will have to figure them out. We have two very different children…who are also very much alike… I never thought I would have kids and here I am… two very special very important children to me… I would never send one or the other away. I love them with all of my heart. They are a part of me. So when someone treats them poorly … that is like treating me poorly. Which is why I was so mad…

I still am mad.

Because no one has admitted they were wrong.

But I guess I will have to give up on some people ever having a heart.

It’s okay.

I have IRL friends.

I have twitter friends.

I have discord friends.

They may not be real to you but they are more real than any of my fake friends ever were to me.

I have such caring friends online who have helped me through so much. I am so thankful for that.

Heck I met my husband online… it seems most of the best people I have met ONLINE were worth it.

Back to making masks. I am done with my rant. I just needed to let that out.

To my followers,

I love you all for all of the support you have given.

I will be writing more hopefully.

I can’t wait till the Homeschool year is over

Yes, us homeschoolers have a schedule as well. My child must attend a certain amount of days of school just like the public school system does. When we finish a curriculum, I generally will add extra classes that help him out in areas that are weaker than others, or I let him choose an extra subject. We currently are on our last 3 classes, a supplement math class, geography and Spanish.

He just finished American History the other day after struggling with his final exam. So I had him review his coursework before attempting the exam one last time. Once school is over later in June (Because that’s when I think he will finish), then I will find some fun things for him to keep busy with because I don’t want to hear him tell me he is bored ALL DAY LONG.

We will start school back up when ever we feel like it… We take more time off in the middle of the year…like how we took a vacation last year in october and we took a longer thanksgiving and christmas break from school, so we run the year a bit longer than schools, but my son doesn’t seem to mind. He enjoys the times we can send him away to see grandma in the middle of the year.

But I am tired of school right now. I mean 6th grade stuff sucks. It has been AGES since I had to do 6th grade school work. And they do things so differently now a days. I find myself teaching my son how to do things the way I was taught instead of how instructions tell us now a days. But as long as he gets the right answers, I guess it doesn’t matter.

I am trying to get him to write more. He had been in occupational therapy for a few years and one of the areas we tried to work on was his writing. He just doesn’t like to write AT ALL. So I have come up with ideas to help him out, like asking him to write a story or a list of items he wants, etc. . So that he is more interested in it. He loves to read, but writing is a struggle.

I will be moving him on to 7th grade next year, yes he got good enough grades to move up. So thankful this year of homeschool worked out. We changed in March of 2019, we had issues with public school. My son has ADHD, sensory processing disorder and a mood disorder as well as an adjustment disorder. So school, unless everything worked on a perfect schedule… did not work for us. Kids…teachers… everything just didn’t work. He was in trouble a lot because of the sensory stuff and kids teased him. We struggled with homeschool at first, people didn’t think we could do it…but if you ask my son if he wants to go back to public school , he says no.

I get to spend my days with my kids now. And yes I get frustrated sometimes, who doesn’t ? And I wish my son could go to school, but that’s not for him. I never thought I would be homeschooling. And no its not like the current situation that everyone else is in right now… we chose to homeschool before all of this. This isn’t the public school helping us in any way.

Someone a year ago wrote something to me that was very hateful about how I shouldn’t homeschool… They pretty much told me I couldn’t do it, and that since I was not a teacher “like them” that I would fail. Yeah… a “teacher” told me that. And it was not even my child’s teacher…it was a “friend”. HA.

No thank you.

I love it when people pretend they know what is best for your child when they don’t have to live in your shoes. When they haven’t been to over 5 years of Occupational therapy with your kid…when they haven’t been to 8 years of behavioral therapy with your kid…when they DON’T EVEN HAVE A KID…..

Do not tell someone how to parent their child….

You are not living in their shoes… you don’t know what they go through.

What works for one kid may not work for another….

I don’t push homeschooling on people for that reason…I may suggest it if they feel frustrated with the school system but honestly a lot of people can’t do it because they work full time…or something else.

And not everyone should homeschool. It’s not for everyone.

But oh my god I am so glad this school year is almost over!

Fighting Demons

When I was a teen I suffered a horrible depression. I am not certain what caused it, chemical or emotional stresses… I suffered alone most of the time because back then my mother, my doctors and everyone else said I had nothing to be depressed about. I remember that feeling to this date.

You know the feeling you get when you smell fresh rain in the woods? Anytime my emotions change, any time I grow as a person I feel it… and recently with this new medication I am on, I am feeling pain relief, as it was intended to help me with…but my depression is rearing its ugly head again. I keep having flashbacks to the days of self-harm, to being hospitalized those two times during my first year of college… It took me forever to go back to college because of those times…

I didn’t trust I wouldn’t have a break down again. But once my son was born, I promised to never hurt myself ever again…and I have kept that promise to him and to myself. My son saved my life.

Even with all the struggles I went through later, becoming a single mother for a while… fighting for custody, fighting for child support…I stayed strong. I grew as a person. But this feeling hurts.

I hate the feeling. My nightmares seem to be coming back but the thing is… I don’t want to get off these meds right now. To not have the neuropathic pain in my spine for a few hours a day…oh its worth it. I can handle depression. I am going to talk to my doctor about it soon to see if there is anything we can do about it, with out losing this medication that is helping me with pain.

In other news – My son is doing better in school. He is listening more to me. I think as he is getting older, hes just getting it. I asked him recently if he wanted to go back to public school any time soon and he said no. He likes homeschool online. So we will stick with it longer now. For the people who said we couldn’t do this…. you were wrong.

My children are my everything.

In the meantime – I currently am not scheduled for work. Since I am PRN (As needed) my hours will likely be cut until July or August per my work’s email to be today. Which is okay … I am actually waiting for my 2 surgeons to schedule my surgery again. I was actually scheduled for today but they couldn’t schedule one of the doctors… thats right I get 2 surgeons because I am a special case. Nah – the issue I have is called a Duplication Cyst and it is in a spot in my body that is more rare than most cysts like this… and it’s like less than 2% of people get it where I got mine, so my surgeon called upon her boss or who ever this other doctor is…for help. Nice right?

So they have to schedule both doctors. So they had to reschedule…I should hear from them soon. But when this surgery finally happens I will be out of commission for a while. I will be in the hospital over night minimum for one full night I heard. They said they have to remove my tailbone to get to the cyst if that clarifies where this cyst may be…yeah…its…going…to ,…..HURT to sit for a while…..

So once I do get stuff sorted and have my surgery I may see if my mom wants to sew masks, if she cant I will donate some of my stuff to a friend who is sewing or to the group I sew for and donate masks to. But until then I will try to keep getting out as many as I can. I am not working as much as I used to because I was in so much pain, so I am limiting myself so that I won’t be in as much pain. I am almost to 700 masks made. So thats nice…I am hoping to get to 1000 before I have to stop.

We shall see!

Oh well thats all that is new with me. I am looking for some online games to keep me busy after the surgery. If anyone has any suggestions please comment or contact me on twitter.

I will be fine. Thats all I have to keep telling myself.

How are you affected?

So, my last post was right before COVID-19 changed how my entire family works. My husband now works from home, which limits my access to certain areas of the house since he is constantly in meetings online. My job stopped giving me hours, because I am a medical coder, and I only have work when people see their doctors. With COVID-19 the clinics and hospitals have cancelled all ELECTIVE surgeries and appointments are done online for some people. This lack of work means, no work for me. I have NOT been fired, I just don’t have hours, which is fine. We are financially stable.

I just got a notice from my retirement plan that I have lost 19.9% of my earnings. Which sucks but I am also young, so I hope it will bounce back eventually. Losing thousands of $$ is not fun but everyone is losing right now so its not just me. The extra money I would have made working would have gone towards helping making masks…oh yeah… I am making face masks, and have been for … almost a full month in 2 days.

Today was my 10 year anniversary working for the hospital system in my town. I have had 4 different job titles at this company and worked my way through college to become a medical coder. I am thankful to have been able to get hospital experience WHILE going to school, it helped me pass up others with zero experience. But since I am not working currently, I am making masks every day. I try to get at least 30-50 done a day. I have to take care of my kiddos though ❤ so sometimes I have to stop and play in the sand with my toddler.

Oh yeah we got Lily a play set, we told her for Xmas we would get her one , so with our stimulus check we got one at Home Depot. We put it together this weekend and she LOVES it.

Later this week, a sandbox will be showing up as well. I spent some of my money from our taxes on a small plastic one for her. I picked up the sand today, all 200 lbs of sand.

Anyways, so here are the masks I have been making!

As for my kiddos I did a photoshoot this month for my daughters monthly shoot…the theme? Quarantine!

We celebrated Easter as well… but through a glass door… my in laws came to visit the kids and waved to them from far away </3

Lets see if HALF the photos I posted today load! Lets play, will WORDPRESS fuck this up?!?!

Anyways, my back hurts me, I am getting in touch with my dr about it… its a long term issue I have had. Fingers crossed that they may be able to help me a little. Its hard with everything going on.

Friends of mine have lost their jobs, so I consider us very lucky. As a family we are just doing well. I am the only one who goes out once a week to get food, sometimes 1x every 2 weeks. So far we have not gotten sick with COVID-19, we are hoping to continue to stay healthy… my VCD has been acting up and i WAS coughing but I started to wear my mask at home and it helped. Yes allergies triggers my VCD, it SUCKS.

Everyone stay well ❤ I will try to update more often. I have been trying but I honestly have only logged into twitter and fb and I havent been anywhere else lately, it has been hard emotionally at times. I have not seen my mom in over a month… we talk via video chat but its not the same. My grandma is in a nursing home, shes 90 years old and honestly she is the person I am more scared for… COVID is hitting the elderly hard and she is someone I dont want to lose to this… not this way. So I pray she stays healthy.

@HopelessOptimst

Im just trying to evolve

Easy Peasy All-in-One Homeschool

A complete, free online Christian homeschool curriculum for your family and mine

Wholeness Haven

Living in Wholeness: Mind, Body and Spirit

Lylelife

Follow me and my journey as I share my online experiences & Learn About Making Money Online & The Tools To Do So.......

Wolf of Words

Stories, Reviews and Opinions!

The Bloggess

Like Mother Teresa, only better.

Gil's Thrilling (And Filling) Blog

Follow the Culinary Ruminations of New Mexico's Sesquipedalian Sybarite. 1181 Restaurant Reviews, More Than 11,400 Visitor Comments...And Counting!

Love Popcorn

One Short Girl’s Big Opinions

Elise Explores

Routine is lethal - I encourage you to explore!