How are you affected?

So, my last post was right before COVID-19 changed how my entire family works. My husband now works from home, which limits my access to certain areas of the house since he is constantly in meetings online. My job stopped giving me hours, because I am a medical coder, and I only have work when people see their doctors. With COVID-19 the clinics and hospitals have cancelled all ELECTIVE surgeries and appointments are done online for some people. This lack of work means, no work for me. I have NOT been fired, I just don’t have hours, which is fine. We are financially stable.

I just got a notice from my retirement plan that I have lost 19.9% of my earnings. Which sucks but I am also young, so I hope it will bounce back eventually. Losing thousands of $$ is not fun but everyone is losing right now so its not just me. The extra money I would have made working would have gone towards helping making masks…oh yeah… I am making face masks, and have been for … almost a full month in 2 days.

Today was my 10 year anniversary working for the hospital system in my town. I have had 4 different job titles at this company and worked my way through college to become a medical coder. I am thankful to have been able to get hospital experience WHILE going to school, it helped me pass up others with zero experience. But since I am not working currently, I am making masks every day. I try to get at least 30-50 done a day. I have to take care of my kiddos though ❤ so sometimes I have to stop and play in the sand with my toddler.

Oh yeah we got Lily a play set, we told her for Xmas we would get her one , so with our stimulus check we got one at Home Depot. We put it together this weekend and she LOVES it.

Later this week, a sandbox will be showing up as well. I spent some of my money from our taxes on a small plastic one for her. I picked up the sand today, all 200 lbs of sand.

Anyways, so here are the masks I have been making!

As for my kiddos I did a photoshoot this month for my daughters monthly shoot…the theme? Quarantine!

We celebrated Easter as well… but through a glass door… my in laws came to visit the kids and waved to them from far away </3

Lets see if HALF the photos I posted today load! Lets play, will WORDPRESS fuck this up?!?!

Anyways, my back hurts me, I am getting in touch with my dr about it… its a long term issue I have had. Fingers crossed that they may be able to help me a little. Its hard with everything going on.

Friends of mine have lost their jobs, so I consider us very lucky. As a family we are just doing well. I am the only one who goes out once a week to get food, sometimes 1x every 2 weeks. So far we have not gotten sick with COVID-19, we are hoping to continue to stay healthy… my VCD has been acting up and i WAS coughing but I started to wear my mask at home and it helped. Yes allergies triggers my VCD, it SUCKS.

Everyone stay well ❤ I will try to update more often. I have been trying but I honestly have only logged into twitter and fb and I havent been anywhere else lately, it has been hard emotionally at times. I have not seen my mom in over a month… we talk via video chat but its not the same. My grandma is in a nursing home, shes 90 years old and honestly she is the person I am more scared for… COVID is hitting the elderly hard and she is someone I dont want to lose to this… not this way. So I pray she stays healthy.

Long time no see !

Happy New Year! Yea yea, I know I am really late with this post… but I have been just taking care of myself lately. I really have not felt the need or want to blog the past few months, so I took a break from it all.

So over the past few months I have seen a surgeon for a medical issue that the ER doctor noticed back in September 2019. I was at the ER back then because I had kidney stones and they saw a mass in my lower pelvis… to be more specific, my butt… yeah so they did a CT scan and said “You need this removed”. They offered to admit me that night and see if they could get a surgeon to remove it but I was in pain from my kidney stones AND I was on my period… I was NOT in the mood for surgery, especially since the doctor said it was not urgent. So I told them I would schedule surgery later in the year.

When I got home the doctors office said they were booked until January. Okay fine I WAITED, and as my twitter followers would know, the scheduler scheduled me with the WRONG doctor… so that was fun. I had to complain and get rescheduled for February. Of course we are now in March. I saw the doctor and they say the mass is likely a cyst, but its not good to have a large cyst in your bottom… My cyst (based off the exam and CT scan and now MRI) looks like its in the muscles that are important to bowel function… so my doctor would like it removed. I mean I would like it removed as well….

So I see the dr for my pre-op on March 16. We will see what they say now that I have had an MRI done (yesterday). See if they feel they can get this mass out safely. I am nervous, but also I just want to be done with any health issues. I have been trying to work out and eat healthy. I lost some weight but not a lot. And I am kind of down about that…

That and on March 9th, I will be turning 35 years old.

And that because of this health issue I am waiting to have surgery …. I cannot get pregnant yet… and my husband and I were planning on getting pregnant but this is holding us back. So its a little frustrating.

But if all goes well, we can get pregnant in a few months.

In the mean time I am just doing the normal stuff we do in life… my daughter is in Gymnastics for toddlers, which is cute and fun to go to. My son is still in Guitar lessons. He is doing well in school. I just want to get healthy. My back is still an issue but that’s likely a life long issue I will have to deal with. I did slip and fall on ice last month and its causing me pain this month. But as far as I know, I’m not injured.

And that’s about all that is going on.

I have a new camera (I made a post about) and my husband just got me a nice new lens from canon. So I WILL be posting photos soon, as I want to get back into my hobby. I am also looking into getting my son into this horse class, where home schooled kids learn to take care of and ride horses. I am currently looking for someone to watch my younger kid though.

I am going to try to write again, since I know a lot will be going on soon. I need an outlet. So consider this blog open again.

Getting fit – together

I have been struggling to get into shape for a few years now. I have dieted. I have lost work out buddies, just due to our different life styles and jobs. It’s hard to find time with two kids, who are very different in age (toddler and pre-teen) along with my pets and my husband… to find time to work out, work, homeschool my child… and run the household.

I have back pains from thing called Tarlov Cysts, so certain workouts are out of the question. But this weekend my husband and I were discussing this.. I WANT to work out… I have a road bike and so does he… so he suggested that we work out indoors with our bikes…

Yes you can do that…


He already has one of those indoor bike trainers, it holds your bike in place while you ride and work out. So he bought a second one, and we are going to wake up together and work out a few days a week. He knows I need the support and he (being a cyclist) wants to work out indoors this winter. He hasn’t been riding his bike since our daughter was born 2 years ago, so this will be good for him too. He is hardly out of shape though.

I on the other hand, have had two kids and have a desk job. So I NEED this to get healthier and I feel with the support of my husband, we can do this together. I hope to see results.

I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner… I mean we are supposed to be best friends right? Yep… I think I just never thought he would want to work out with me. But this might be what I need. He is very supportive of me, he knows I have been trying to get healthier and he says I am beautiful, but I just don’t feel the part. I feel out of shape…I feel unfit…

Now I have tried this in the past but I didn’t have anyone kicking my butt out of bed in the morning, yes … we are going to do morning work outs.

I am going to take those horrible before photos soon… I am waiting for the bike stands to come in the mail this week. Wish me luck…

Here’s whats new !

I made the decision to start up preschool education with my daughter. Since my husband and I live in a city where the public schools are not up to my standard and we won’t be placing our youngest into daycare anytime soon (I am not against it, I just have no reason for it when I am home all the time.) I feel like I need to start introducing things to her slowly. We are starting with the basic alphabet and numbers, via coloring and songs.

I know small children, like my daughter, do not need a lot of time on these subjects yet, but she has been walking around the house saying part of the alphabet and some of her numbers already so I am going to work with her on them since she has shown an interest.

I have a strong belief that children will let you know when they are ready for something… if a child is behind on something, simply work with them on it and if they are not ready, come back to it later. Not all children work at the same pace… and that’s okay.

So for starters – I signed up with for printable work sheets and some other resources for my toddler. We don’t need much yet, so I am not signing her up for any major curriculum until she is in kindergarten. We have a long time before that.

I am going to make a page of fun items for toddlers that I find – and I may even make some of my own since my daughter has very specific interests… such as peppa pig – and if I can make some coloring pages with alphabet for her with peppa, I know she would have more interest than with some other random character.

Hey – did you know I am getting a new computer? And that with it’s increased speed I plan on doing more computer based projects? I am actually very excited to do this!

Do you have any toddler related projects you feel would be good for homeschooling? I am trying to create a list of fun interactive projects for my 2 year old… It’s all about play and fun while she learns now.

If you know any nursery rhyme websites with songs – let me know too. I find that searching youtube sometimes distracts my child…she sees cartoons and ignores the music… so I am trying to stay away from that.

I am trying to become a better parent – so that when we eventually have our last child (yes you read that right, we are planning to try for one more child), that I won’t be too set back. I would love to homeschool them all if we still live in this town. My homeschooling journey started off reluctantly as my son was having trouble in school…but now I am seeing the benefits differently, I am seeing how less stressed my son is, I am more engaged in his education… it’s nice to see where and what he is doing… its nice to see how he is learning!

I am very lucky to be able to be home with both of my kids…

Tis the season

Tis’ the season…

I’m not sure if I am an introvert or not. I think I just don’t like people sometimes, or maybe it’s my social anxiety. Anyways I love/hate the holidays. I love seeing people, but I get emotionally exhausted after so much interaction.

I personally do enjoy family time, hanging out with friends, but I also need a break from events. I love hosting Thanksgiving, and I almost didn’t get to host this year, but things turned around. I will be hosting, like I have been for the last 9 years.

This year our celebrations will be smaller than they have in the past. We lost a family member, and then other’s will just not be present. Things will be fine, but I think I just miss my friends. I spend a lot of time online because most of my friends are not local. I have friends who grew up with me in various other states, and we all talk via Twitter, Discord, or Facebook.

I have had friends in the past not understand that when I talk about my “online” friends, they don’t understand the connection. Some of you all know me better than my own family. And some of you I know just as well… we are there for one another. And some of you, I have met.

My daughter and my father

My father came to visit us briefly yesterday. My father isn’t really present in my life. He shows up when he can, and that means…not often. I don’t share a very close relationship with him. My mother raised me.

But it was nice to see him for a little bit. We do struggle with our views though. I am very open to things, and I don’t just people on their religious views, sexuality or race. He is very opposite. He brings up how he is against Homosexuality, etc… and it’s always the same argument. I personally feel people have the right to choose. People can be themselves. I don’t care what your skin color is, I don’t care if you are a different religion. You can be straight, gay, bisexual, transgender, etc… I will call you by what ever pronouns you prefer. I honestly just people on if they are good people or not… I also don’t judge on age. I have plenty of friends here that are younger and older than me. I feel we all learn from one another. I have learned so much from you all.

So when family can’t get past certain things and they spew hate. It just confuses me. Why can’t we all get along?

I do it for my children. I suck it up. I allow my father to come by and I talk with him. I know he isn’t going to stay around long and we can stand a day or two together. He won’t ever agree with my views and I know I can’t change him. He hasn’t lived my life and I haven’t lived his.

Their meeting

My daughter is turning 2 in less than a month. And I am so excited to celebrate with the people who make time in their busy schedules to stop by and spend time with my daughter. I feel like the time with family is very important. She needs to see who she can rely on in life. I know she has amazing family that loves her so much. I hope she can always see that, no matter who decides to not be present.

I try to teach my son, who is quite a bit older, to rely on himself first and that he has family that will back him up. To not second guess himself.

He was not in town this week by the way, he is visiting my mother about 3 hours away for an early Thanksgiving. And in the mean time, I am kind of just getting stuff sorted out with my dogs, and my work. I needed a break and this is his “fall” break from home school.

Look what I found!

For my daughter’s birthday, I will be making the above cake for her. With her food allergies, I found this cake mix! I made it the other day to test it out and she CAN have it!

We are also going through food restrictions for my son. He has had stomach issues since birth that have been showing up more and more as he got older. Right now we are limiting SOY and MILK. And my mother noticed a difference ! She mentioned that she feels the restricted diet is working! So I have to let his doctor know, because I thought I saw a difference but I didn’t know if I was imagining things.


Dog update: We have been working with Ranger (Our new dog). And things are going pretty well! I have noticed he gets very shy around men, and he won’t enter a room with one. He tends to glue himself to me, literally, he will stick to my side. I am not sure what his old owner did to him. He and my other dog get along, but Ranger is also older, so he doesn’t really PLAY. He does get a bit frustrated when Gwen jumps on him, BUT he doesn’t get aggressive with my kids, which is great. He is just going to need more time to slowly adjust to our family. But … I am happy to say… He is adjusting. And I think he is happy here – he is smiling more… (see above photo)

That is a BIG difference from before… and we can always work on getting him to be okay with men…or at least the men in our family at least.

On Monday he will be getting his teeth cleaned, so I am anxious. I am nervous he will not trust me after this, BUT I want him to be healthy.


Since I am posting photos of my dog, Ranger. I may as well show off my amazing cat (Finnegan).

And my other dog, Gwendolyn…

Well – I do hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. We will enjoy the time we have with family that is around. I can’t wait to see certain people. I love the lights and colors of Christmas.

I am going to attempt a cooking video sometime soon about gluten free/rice free foods. I would like to obtain recipes to help others out that have the same or similar issues as my family.

Let me know the kind of recipes you would like to see! I am going to work on expanding on Gluten Free items. I would like to attempt some pasta recipes.

H- Pylori – what the heck is it?

This is my daughter (see above photo). And we are learning what H-Pylori is first hand this week. All last month my daughter had stomach problems, and they continued through this month, so I took her into the doctor’s office, where they took me seriously thankfully, and ordered a stool sample test. Last night, I got a text from the mychart app that my doctor’s office uses with these results.

So of course I googled what Helicobacter was, and of course we will need to start with a round of TWO different antibiotics AND something to reduce the acid in her stomach. I don’t know yet what else we will need, if anything. But the doctor did order the medication, which the pharmacy is out of, but they will get tomorrow. So tomorrow, I will talk to the pharmacist about how I will be giving these to my daughter, etc.

Of course, she still has a few more lab results we are waiting on from that same stool sample, but I am thankful that her recent stomach problems can be treated. We thought we were losing safe foods, because things that used to never make her sick were causing issues. In the mean time I need to be really careful about her diet though. She still has food allergies, and I don’t know how this medication will mess with her stomach.

Taken from WEB MD

Hopefully my daughter will be feeling a bit better by her birthday in a month. I can only hope. I feel bad that she has had to go through this for a month already, but really…. how could we know that this was H Pylori ? And not a food contamination related to her food allergies? It’s hard because they are very similar symptoms.

Anyways, I will update how she is doing with the new medication soon.

In other news… my son is doing better at playing the guitar. His music teacher was telling me that we are doing something right, because he is improving.

(Above) is a photo of my son at one of his lessons. I know he really wants to play the guitar, but setting up “practice” time is HARD. He just doesn’t want to practice. But he wants to play well. *sigh* he is learning that it takes practice to be good at something.

You can’t have everything right away.

Hey its me

And news with me, I lost 2 more lbs! YAY!! I am on a diet that is taking forever because I have little self control.

Hey at least I am honest. But I want to lose at least another 10 lbs before we try to get pregnant again, for health reasons. I am high risk.

So fingers crossed that I can get healthy, so we can add another little person to our family!!! 🙂

Hello Monday

I have been using Lightroom for a few days now to edit my photos, since my new camera uses RAW CR3 files, and my older version of Photoshop Elements did not support that specific file, and I really don’t LOVE Lightroom yet. I find it annoying that this program slows down my computer so much, just to edit some light/colors. I am paying monthly for it, so maybe I will get a new computer soon. This one is actually new – but it’s not fast enough for editing apparently.

I was thinking of getting my son a computer so I may just get myself a slightly faster computer for myself and give him this one – this one is legit less than a year old, so I think he won’t care. Heck I know he won’t care, he’s 11 and he isn’t spoiled, he legit takes what I give him.

Ever since we decided to put our youngest on only ‘gluten free” labeled foods, I have noticed a change in her stomach issues. These issues have been going on for over a month, and they seem to be getting a little better at least. So it looks like we might have a lead on what is causing issues (contamination, or what ever). I am going to make sure all the food she has around the holidays is gluten free only, no cutting corners.

I am sending out her invitations to her second birthday this week – I will be making them today. I was going to use one of the photos I took today for the invites.

I love this new camera but I am still pissed off about the issues we are having with Amazon.

So here is the deal, in case you didn’t know already or if you don’t follow me on Twitter.

My husband bought me a Canon 90D from Amazon, and when it came in the mail he opened it to make sure it was not broken before he gave it to me. When he opened the box (that was clearly labeled Canon 90D). This is what we got…(See photo)

The box has a EOD Rebel T7i inside of it INSTEAD of the Canon 90D….

So the box had the WRONG camera in it!

My husband told me immediately, since this was a gift for our 3 year anniversary (of being married), we have been together 9 years now. Anyways, I told him to contact Amazon ASAP and things seemed to be going smoothly at first, they told us we could return it for a full refund!

Then we shipped the package back and they emailed us and told us we had to return the Canon 90D, because what we sent them was a Rebel…. NO SHIT. So now they are refusing to refund us….

The Canon 90D currently costs $1,200 for just the body alone (which is what we ordered). The Rebel T7i currently costs $600, so that is HALF the cost. Yes we are pissed. So we are currently trying to prove to Amazon that we did not fraud them and that apparently who ever bought the camera before us and obviously returned a different camera, fraud-ed them…and us apparently.

Anyways – because it was not my fault – the whole camera issue. My husband did take me to Best Buy and he bought me the correct camera already. (I didn’t force him to, he just wanted to) and we opened that damn box up in the store to check and make sure it was the correct one! And it was, thankfully. So I am currently using a Canon 90D, not the one we initially ordered because some idiot frauded Amazon and then Amazon sold that one to us and fucked us over for the cost.

We may be getting rid of Amazon Prime…. and we have a lot set up with Amazon. I have movies, music, and monthly orders through them. But even today, my husband said he ordered all his stuff for his wood working projects on another website because now he feels he can’t trust Amazon.

We are still fighting them – and I am going to make sure they know I am pissed about this decision. My husband and I have been members since 2003 apparently (my husband looked at his account) and I have been on the site around the same amount of time, so you would think that Amazon would know we wouldn’t be the ones frauding them… right? I don’t think I have ever returned an item….

Anyways that is what we are dealing with and its frustrating because it’s the holiday season and we are out $1,200 right now. What a lovely anniversary gift amazon….

Other than that, not much else is going on. My daughter is having a few tests run to see if we can rule out a few issues with her stomach. I am learning how to feed a child who might have Celiac. My son is going to his grandmother’s this week – I needed a break and she wanted to see him. So he will get this week off from home school instead of next week.

Both of our dogs are doing well – the new dog is super shy and only follows me around (he avoids my husband still) I am not sure if he has issues with men… I know the person who took him to the humane society was a male…but that’s all we know. Ranger, the new dog, doesn’t like to be outside alone. So he is inside with me a lot. Where, Gwen, our other dog, doesn’t care and will hop along happily outside.

As you can see here – she enjoys sitting on our winter pool cover *ROLLS EYES*

Oh yes- today my daughter turned 23 months old…. PHOTO TIME!

This week, my goal is to clear out items from my house that I no longer use. I want to get rid of clutter. I know, being a mom, there will be clutter. But I have stuff in closets that I never use. So I need to clear stuff out before Christmas hits.

I am also thinking of selling my old cameras… I have two used Canons. I have a Canon 30D and a Canon T3i, both are in good shape. I need to look up what the going cost is for them currently. I am just thinking of selling the body – no lenses. But I don’t need so many cameras. They will just collect dust and maybe I can find a college student who is looking for a used camera in good shape – for a decent price.

If I end up posting them on ebay – I will let you all know here too.

I need to find boxes for them, since I am fairly sure I no longer have the original boxes because my husband keeps making me clean out my junk from the closets in my office since I tend to keep EVERYTHING.

Happy Fall

On an end note – If I find the motivation… I may do some videos on gluten free foods or photo blog how to make certain things, since I know other moms are going through the same struggles I am going through feeding a child with FPIES to Oats, Wheat, Rice, Broccoli and Pineapple.

Accidentally here – Gluten Free / Homeschool /ADHD / Food Allergies

These past few days have been a bit of an eye opener for me. I felt alone and cried over some stupid things. I felt like a failure as a mother because my daughter keeps having stomach issues, but after realizing that IF she has Celiac… I am not to blame. I know people who have it and contamination happens.

My two children ❤

Today I spoke to my husband and alerted him of one issue… so we are not testing for Celiac for a few months because of my daughter’s age and the fact that she is literally allergic to wheat, so introducing Gluten to her is going to be tough for a real test.

The issue is … IF we actually get a positive result… we may need to get a bunch of new kitchen appliances…. everything we have has been used to cook so much Gluten. My husband actually suggested we just go fully Gluten free IF we get a positive diagnosis eventually. So that might be our house hold….of course we are going to make some positive changes right now in the meantime.

We won’t be replacing all of our stuff just yet – we are going to go through the testing process and I am going to trial rice again soon. (Yes, my daughter also has a rice allergy).

What can you do?

So the subject… here is what I feel about life right now.

I am an accidental homeschooler, accidentally gluten free, accidentally falling into these things that are so “popular” to be doing right now. But I don’t fit IN… not with the people who do them because its “cool”. I joined groups on facebook for these topics and the communities vary… some of the homeschool groups are just brutal…they HATE public schools so much… and I am not in FULL hate with public schools. I ended up home schooling because my son has health issues (ADHD, Mood disorder, and sensory processing disorder), which caused us so many issues and the public school situation just disappointed me, so we chose to home school eventually. And its working for us!

As for the Gluten free stuff…. again…. lets start with my son who has ADHD, I found over the years that if I limit gluten intake, he behaves better! There is some stuff written about it as well – along with certain food dyes. Anyways we have been slowly introducing all of that stuff for a bit and then… my daughter was born… with FPIES…a food allergy- and her trigger foods SO FAR – are wheat, oats, rice, broccoli and pineapple…she also MIGHT have Celiac…we are still in the testing phase, while trying to rule out other things….

My youngest

So we are starting to become “that family” with the gluten free rules, food allergies, I am the mom at the store with both of my kids and people ask my son why he isn’t in school… well… we have more of a flexible schedule so we can go to the store, and then resume classes. I am finally falling into a routine. Home schooling is getting easier….

I still don’t fit in…. not with the moms who choose to do this because they hate the public school system…. I admit I have issues with it. But NOT EVERYONE CAN HOME SCHOOL.

I am lucky….

I worked from home anyways –

I have a job that is VERY flexible…

I have a husband who can provide for me and both of my kids…

I get child support still for my son and that helps pay for his medical and home school stuff… so I mean I am very lucky. A lot of moms…. and dads work full time – late shifts, or struggle with bills. I know people who would love to home school but can’t.

I am going to blog these transitions to let you all know how it goes…but also to show other moms who might be going through the same situations that you are not alone. Shitty stuff happens, family members who are supposed to support you act like idiots and kick you out of groups via text, people break promises, the school lets you down, and when you need your friends, sometimes they have stuff going on as well… and can’t be there for you.

But you can do it.

I found my support online, via facebook, via twitter, and discord. I have friends across a few platforms and I don’t have to be alone.

Don’t feel bad for feeling bad…


Let yourself feel things – never lock your emotions away.

Me trying to make myself look happy

I suffer from major depressive disorder and am very very used to hiding my feelings from so many people. I have been more honest in real life and online about my feelings and I have been able to just be more free.

If someone can’t accept me when I am at my most depressed, then they don’t need to be in life when I am at my best / most happiest…

What changed me this year? I have always been a bit out spoken, I grew up in New Jersey… but someone I loved, someone who always supported me these last 9 years passed away. And I don’t have her to talk to anymore. (This was my Grandma in Law). She was always there for me – and she used to agree with me and I would talk to her about issues I was going through and she was there…. and now shes not. And I found myself crying a lot…because I miss that relationship that was amazing to have.

I may not have her here anymore but I can imagine her response to my problems, and her reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

My relationship with my MIL & FIL has gotten so much better as well – which is great. I am glad that my kids can have a good relationship with their grandparents.

Somehow – things are working themselves out. I have a few things I want to fix…but I am working on things one at a time.

Practice shot from my new camera

In the meantime – I am going to practice using my new camera – I want to get my hobby back. I may do some more driving to get some shots I have wanted to get – but have put off for too long. I am going to start cooking more home made Gluten free stuff and I may make a section on this blog for that too… so if anyone has any things you would like me to try to make, let me know!

I am the accidental mom 😉 Just trying to grow my family – one day at a time.

Being a mother to a child with food allergies… or possibly Celiac

This is Lily

My daughter has FPIES. And for the last few months we have gone symptom free, for the most part. We avoided trigger foods and opened up to new recipes and were able to introduce home made and store bought paleo pizza, muffins, and crackers (all wheat, oat and rice free), to Lillian.

Today I sit here in my living room with a head ache. I feel like a failure, but I know we will find the answer soon.

Last month, my daughter started to have horrible diarrhea. It would come and go, I would go back to only feeding her eggs and toddler milk and it would clear up, and then we would feed her again and it would come back. We have a trigger food that we are having a horrible time identifying. It could be anything…

It’s been a month and her stools have still been off. She started to get blisters with her diaper rash. I tried a few different brands of butt paste and they just didn’t work. So we finally took her in to her doctor for an RX. We have a butt paste that is compounded now, and we are hoping to see improvement with it. (Insurance did not cover this, but we thankfully can afford the $65 price tag).

I feel overwhelmed…and I will tell you why.

The doctor and I had a talk about my daughter’s FPIES…and that we usually get vomiting with a reaction…not just diarrhea…

Celiac disease…

She was tested for it last year, but soon after, I found out from a friend that since we are on a gluten free diet anyways, the tests would be invalid.

This was brought up again yesterday at the doctor’s visit… retesting is not an option right now. My daughter is FPIES to Oats, Wheat, Rice, Pineapple and Broccoli. That means, if we wanted to test for Celiac we would have to introduce her to a gluten product, most likely wheat, which makes her vomit profusely and causes her to go limp.

I won’t put her through that.

Now kids CAN out grow FPIES, and her last reaction to wheat was January 2019. It was a reaction to licking a spoon, that was used to put DRY cream of wheat in a bowl. It had the DUST from the cream of wheat… not even a tsp. And she threw up for hours….

We are not scheduled for a food trial until January 2021. Her doctors felt that she was severe enough to wait until she was at least 3 years old.

So no test – no wheat – no testing for Celiac right now either. BUT….

Why do we think it might be celiac?

So lately I have been getting bold… instead of getting items that say “gluten free” I have been relying on the ingredients list. I thought, well… many people say they can have this item and they are FPIES to the same stuff we are ….

It has been since I introduced these items that we have started having issues…. the ingredients don’t say wheat but they could have contamination…

FPIES is vomiting – or bloody stools… usually. Not just Diarrhea…

Celiac includes the diarrhea and various other things as well – BUT both the GI and PCP said it was a possibility since we are very careful about exposure, that if these items had enough gluten to make her sick enough to just bother her tummy a bit – we may get this reaction.

The goal is – to only eat ‘certified gluten free’ foods.

Which is hard. For us.

My daughter has a rice allergy…. please look in your local gluten free section and tell me what percentage of foods my daughter can eat….

Not much…

So I have to go Gluten free – but ….with a Paleo twist…

It’s possible…we just have to be VERY picky.

My head hurts today.

I feel like everything I do doesn’t make a difference. I feel alone. And I feel like my family thinks I am the crazy mom.

I have good friends – and family but they don’t live this (with the exception of my friend Kerri, who also has a multitude of food allergies, I am thankful to have her to complain to). *Waves to Kerri*

I am looking for Paleo recipes that I can fit into my schedule – that I can make certified gluten free – so we can see if we can get rid of these tummy issues with my daughter. We are currently trying to rule out any other possible issues until we can get her tested for Celiac… but until then we have to live the life. As if she has Celiac.

To all the moms out there – or if you have celiac or other food allergies – let me know your struggles – let me know where you shop. What do you do?

I am also on another journey with my other child, Calvin. For personal health reasons we are trying to cut milk and soy out of his diet… and milk is not too hard to cut out but soy…. god help me SOY is in everything….

Living soy free – is nearly impossible. Unless you make everything yourself.

But here I am a home schooling mother of 1, toddler mom of 1 other, and I do still work from home PRN as a medical coder online. I am expected to keep the house neat, teach my children, take care of our pets, and be a loving wife. I suffer from migraines, severe depression, social anxiety and today I feel sad… I feel self pity. I just want to cry.

I know what we are going through is small compared to what others go through – but it’s my struggle. As a mother – it’s hard to see your child suffer while you try to figure out what is going on inside of them.

I have an amazing MIL and FIL who have been supportive of me – and I think them for that. They remind me that I am a good mom.

We still haven’t gotten an apology from my BIL/SIL for the horrible thing they said about my son (when they kicked him out of a group get together, see my older posts for that information). So their support is non existent right now. My own mother is very supportive. I wish more of my family lived closer.

Update on homeschooling: We found a program over a month ago that is working for US. It’s called Acellus Power House, Home school. It’s online. I also just bought my son a subscription to curiosity stream and he is loving it.

Sorry for the rant – I just feel overwhelmed today.

Fall is here! (Oh & I got the new Canon 90D)

Last week, my husband bought me the new Canon 90D DSLR. I am very excited to try this camera out – but I also ran into some difficulties involving the RAW format CR3 files.

First of all – the CR3 files can no longer be “previewed” in my Windows 10 file browser, and my Photoshop Elements 10, cannot open my RAW format files. I am trying to work around it and update the raw files to 11.4, like most of the internet has suggested, but I may just need to upgrade my Photoshop account completely it seems.

So, I have not fully been able to play with photos YET in Photoshop. I am hesitant on buying a new version of Photoshop because I am stuck in my old cheap ways….

“But Donna, you have a brand new fancy expensive camera, why not just spend the money?”

Well my dear readers, I work PRN — that means as needed. So my paycheck is rather small. And since the camera was a gift from my husband to me, for our 3 year wedding anniversary, I didn’t really go out ready to spend a lot of money on camera stuff.

I am also trying to prepare for Christmas and Thanksgiving coming up here in the states. *SIGH*

I mean I probably will buckle down and buy Photoshop CC with Lightroom (or what ever the cool kids are using now a days).

Crappy RAW file issues aside – I did get to play with some JPEGs and I was playing with all the fun “in camera” tools that are provided… and I must say this camera is very nice. I still have a Canon 30D and a Canon Rebel 3Ti as well, which I may look into selling so I can get a new lens. So keep an eye out for those to be on ebay eventually. I tend to keep all my cameras and then they don’t get used and I want SOMEONE to use them, SOMEONE to love them.

I sold my Canon 10D a few years ago and I hope the person who bought that one is enjoying it still, it was in great condition.

This photo was taken with my new camera – unedited. In JPEG format – not RAW for obvious reasons right now.

I am going to plan a trip to some places with more colors (New Mexican ones, such as old town, and other holiday functions coming up will allow me to practice more with this camera!)

Since I drive past old town Albuquerque twice a week, I think I should be able to stop by and take some test shots soon. I love when the stores put up luminaria in the winter (wait and see).

Test photo of my son with the new camera! Yeah hes adorable 🙂

So far, I have noticed this new camera is amazing at pulling in light where its needed. I have had issues in the past with older cameras not picking up light, there is NO issue with this currently.

This was taken in a pretty dark room, yes I had a window but it usually would come out very dark

I wish I had this camera for my most recent vacation to Yellowstone, but my husband did not know about my “wish” for a new camera, until mid trip. He and I were talking about it – and I sort of got the hint that my anniversary gift would be something camera related after that.

This was taken with a filter on the Canon 90D – called Toy Camera, I actually like these filters for fun shots like this, it only allows JPEG though for this setting – no Raw.
Another filter ON the camera – its B&W grainy. I am not a fan of the grainy – I would have preferred a regular B&W function instead, but I mean I can edit the RAW files for that later.

Are you looking to get a new camera? The Canon 90D (BODY ONLY) this is NOT INCLUDING the lenses, is about $1,200

You can check out this camera on Amazon : <– click the link to check it out

I personally bought mine at Best Buy because I had some issues getting the correct camera from other websites for some reason – but I know most people prefer Amazon.

Tell me what kind of Camera you currently use. Are you Nikon or Canon? I started off with Canon so…I just never switched. Now all my lenses are Canon so I find it hard to switch. *Shrug*

*Includes Affiliate links*

Adjusting to a 2 dog household

It’s not as hard as I thought it would be. But it’s also not easy. It’s like having an extra child…. Who pees outside.

Ranger is a good dog. That I am 100% sure of. Why his owner had to get rid of 3 dogs…. I don’t know. But I’m glad we found Ranger. He is older than the shelter said he was… They said the owner said he was 6. The vet said he’s closer to 8. That’s fine with us.

Gwendolyn, our first dog, is getting used to sharing. Sharing love, sharing toys, but right now she really cares about food. We are showing and training the a dogs that we have enough food for both of them… Gwen gets a bit touchy when she thinks Ranger will let a treat before her. So we are working on that.

The dogs are both very good with my kids so far. Gwen was always good but I didn’t know how she would be with Ranger around the kids. Shes fine.

Ranger will not go potty outside with out Gwen. I’m not so sure why he won’t… But so far he will only go outside in the back yard with her. If in put him out side alone he will just sit by the door until I bring him in.

We need to schedule his teeth cleaning for next month. I told my husband, no matter what, Ranger is getting his teeth cleaned because they are not looking nice. And they smell.

Ranger has lenticular sclerosis, in both eyes, because he’s old. And that’s fine, it doesn’t seem to bother him yet. But at least we know.

Learning to care for an older dog is new for me, but we are up for the challenge. We wanted him and we will care for him. He’s doing great in the crate, on day 3 he will go in with out much of an issue.

He’s house trained. He’s not really leash trained, he gets startled walking down the street when people are coming by and he tugs backwards. I’m getting him a gentle leader like what Gwen has. Actually both are getting new leaders. I’m used to Gwen pulling… Not the other way around. But I do take them on two walks a day. It works and their energy level is more manageable.

Gwen has calmed down a little. I think having Ranger distract her is a good thing. She was a bit much. She still is.. But she’s behaving better now.

Being a 2 dog house, with 2 kids, and a cat… Is fun. It keeps me busy. But I’m happy. The kids are happy. My toddler is in love with both dogs and cries for them at night. Ranger is bonding with my son… It’s really nice.

I don’t think we will ever be a 3 dog house. But I think 2 is a good number.

We adopted a shelter dog !

My twitter followers and facebook friends should already know this but I finally have time to make a small post about our new family member, Ranger – the Irish Terrier!

Yes, you read that right… we now own TWO Irish Terriers! Gwendolyn and Ranger get along great. Most of you know Gwen by now, she’s 2 1/2 and is a pure bred Irish Terrier, she’s been an only dog since we got her, until now.

I heard of Ranger via facebook, the Irish Terrier Rescue Network was trying to find someone to foster him, while he was still at my local shelter. I decided that I wanted to see him for myself. I really don’t want to foster…I would prefer to own. So I met him, and saw potential. He was shy, shaking scared, but he was not aggressive. He tolerated me touching him, and I decided to see how a meet up with Gwen would go.

I brought Gwendolyn with me to the shelter that same day and he came out wagging his tail when he saw me and Gwen. That was it… He started opening up from then on with me.

Background: Ranger was dropped off with 2 other dogs, so they knew he was good with other dogs. They think hes 6 years old but we just confirmed at my vet that he’s AT LEAST 7. (We don’t care about his age, we just want to help him live a healthy happy life.)

So do you want to see Ranger?

Side shot- this is him 24 hours after being rescued from the shelter

I want to also share this…..

This was the sad dog I met – he has changed so much in 24 hours

This was his before… when I FIRST met him…

So you can see the changes… I am so happy I found him. We have only had him 2 days but Gwendolyn is getting along well with him. My kids love him. And we are working on getting to know him better. He is a bit shy and jumpy but is not aggressive at all. He has let me shower him, and check his teeth out. We already had a vet appointment and established that he has slight Lenticular Sclerosis in his eyes, which is normal for his age, and they said it’s nothing to worry about right now since it’s not bad with him.

He also desperately needs his teeth cleaned, so in about a month or less… I will pay for that to be done. His breath could kill a bull. Freaking – omg. But we will work on that. I got him a tooth brush as well – which I will introduce soon.

My two irish terriers

Above is a photo of Gwen (in the front) and Ranger (in the back) on their morning walk. I bought him his own harness, as I didn’t get one yesterday for him. Today he has a fancy new grey one.

So far our only problem is getting him to pee…. I got him to eat finally and drink water. And he doesn’t LOVE his crate yet – BUT he won’t cry in it. So at night time, getting him inside the crate is a bit rough but he doesn’t complain once he is in. We have been trying to show him that Gwen goes in on command and we praise her – and I praise him every time he goes in his. I finally got him to take treats from me – so I think that will help improve this process!

The kids have been slowly been introducing themselves to him – he doesn’t seem to mind them now. They made him nervous the first day but I think everything did. I am just thankful we found him.

Ranger and I today

Tell me about your adoption story! Gwen was raised as a puppy by us, so adopting an older dog is very different but I am so happy to have another dog to join our family. That and the fact that Gwen is over the moon once she saw I brought him home, makes me really happy.


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