Besides my VCD (vocal cord dysfunction)… I have been feeling relatively good this week. After the dog attack happened, I got really depressed and anxious. My body hurt, I wanted to sleep more and I was having troubles eating. So I went to see my doctor and had my normal check up while I was there.
I saw the PA, since my doctor is booked until later this month, that’s fine by me, but what bugged me was the lack of my physicians listening to me…
I have depression…yea so what? But my ANXIETY was causing the issues I had. I asked them if they could re-prescribe me a medication I used for anxiety in the past (they used to prescribe it to me) but they refused, they would much rather raise my dose of my antidepressant. After thinking about it… I really don’t think this will help me in the long run. I know my depression and anxiety. I know that this short term anxiety will fade over time, I just need help right now…. and my antidepressant makes me nauseous anyways, I don’t want to raise the dose.
So for this issue I am going to see if I can find myself another psychiatrist since mine left 2 years ago. And see if I can get re-established to get proper treatment, rather than my PCP’s office sort of winging it. I am also searching for a new PCP… I just never really liked this one and I have been too lazy to switch.
I also brought up my VCD to the PA. I said I wanted to get my throat checked out because the cough won’t go away. I told her about my tests in 2013 from an asthma dr stating that my cough has been VCD and not asthma… instead the PA decided to try me on another inhaler…this time a steroid. Fine… its free anyways…the sample clinic provided it to me, but I see NO DIFFERENCE. The PA said she thought it was just a spasm… I don’t feel like its a lung spasm… so I am going to seek a referral to ENT. I want to make sure that this is indeed my VCD I told her, I just want to make sure my throat is fine and that if it is VCD, I know it will pass eventually AND yes it flares up but its REALLY bad…
I HAVE to wear a mask everyday….
People are constantly asking me if I am sick. I just tell them I have a respiratory issue and wearing a mask helps me not cough. I don’t have time to explain VCD to everyone I meet at the store. Nor do I wish to.
I just feel like my physician’s office really dropped the ball these past few years. I don’t feel supported and I need change. I just HATE looking for a new doctor. And I don’t want to be sent to an asthma doctor again, last time I was sent to two, and both said I do not have asthma. Yet here I am with inhalers… but my VCD diagnosis literally is on the spot… its exactly what I feel I have, its text book. So I still trust that one doctor who did diagnose me with it years ago. I just want to see if I can treat it somehow… because this is getting tiresome.
I do not ENJOY the attention from wearing a mask. Yes I picked out a cute one, but people look. People stare. People immediately think you have something “contagious”. I don’t.
On the subject of the dog attack, I mentioned earlier. My dog is doing so much better. Her bite has almost healed completely! She is a trooper. We still go for walks, but we changed our route. She is an amazing dog, the other day I had a coughing fit while walking her and she always checks on me to make sure I am okay… my husband looked shocked. He was holding her leash and she pulled to go check on me, because I stopped and couldn’t breath. She put her face near my face and it was very calming.
I told my husband, if only she was a calmer dog, she would be an amazing emotional support dog. But her energy levels are crazy. ❤ We still love her to pieces.