Lily is my second child. I currently have a 14 month old and a 10 year old. I know, the age difference is pretty far apart, but things don’t always go as planned. My first child is from a previous relationship, that flopped like a dead fish. My ex was not faithful in our relationship and he told me one day that he did not love me, after stringing me along and having me move to his home state across the country with him. So I left. I gave my work two weeks notice and I left the entire state, my ex and I agreed that I would take our child and we would split.
About 6 months later, I met my now husband on a dating website. We dated for 6 years and then got married. (We have been married 2 years now) About 6 months after we got married we finally started trying for OUR first baby. We were successful and now I have my little girl. But people often ask me if it is hard having two children almost 10 years apart and the answer is mostly no.
Having already raised one child half way – I have experience in what to do and what NOT to do. But not all children are a like. So I am experiencing a different baby/toddler right now. My first child was a parent trap. He was perfect – he barely cried, and ate anything I gave him, he took naps when ever I put him to bed, he slept all night, he had no food allergies, just perfect. But this time around we have food allergies, development delays, and she is going through a fussy stage currently. But I love her so much. She’s just a different experience, and we are even thinking of having one more child!
Now my older child is not perfect – so I do know how to deal with the fussy stage now, but this is just a very different baby. Well, now she is considered a toddler. She isn’t walking yet, but she wants to. She just started to give up pureed foods all of a sudden and refused to eat them starting this week. She has been taking shorter naps due to her food intake change – and since she has food allergies, we have such a hard time finding actual finger foods she can eat. Ohand she has an immature gag reflux. So she chokes on everything – but we are working on that by trying different food, cut up very very small.
So no it is not harder having two kids far apart – but it is very different.
Today I bought quinoa cheerios for 30$. No, not just one box, I bought a 4 pack on amazon. They are called “Quinoa Queen” and since my daughter has food allergies, these are what we are trying out. I know quinoa is a safe food for her, and I am trying to let her have a “normal” food experience, like her brother. But she cannot have normal cheerios due to her allergies.
I am glad I am having this experience now, rather than when I was younger though. I have the financial resources to pay for her food, which does cost more because I am having to do gluten free options.
We found some lovely red lentil pasta, that is gluten free, and tastes pretty darn good. We found some gluten free, rice free crackers recently as well. All at Sprouts. It may be hard to find foods she can eat but it is not impossible. My husband and I go shopping together and we both read the ingredients lists, to make sure we are not missing something.
I am glad I have a husband who understands our daughter’s condition with her food allergies. I belong to a few groups online and some parents have conflicts due to one parent thinking nothing is wrong with the child even after a reaction to food. My husband has witnessed our daughter get sick multiple times. Thankfully I tend to give her new foods on Fridays, when my husband is not working.
I am so thankful I work from home with this child. I was not so lucky with my first. I don’t know what I would do if I had to trust someone else with my baby – and her food allergies. I don’t know how I could trust a daycare to handle her reactions to certain foods. I am just lucky to have the opportunity to work from home with my current job.