Suspended…Again

Those of you with school aged children, this is for you. My son is 10 years old and is in the 5th grade. He is in special education (ADHD, Mood Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder). We are dealing with his multiple suspensions…again. It is so frustrating dealing with the school and their failed Behavioral Intervention Plans.

Every year, since he was 5, we have had a BIP in place for my son. That’s fine. But this year his new teacher just can’t seem to keep me up to date on issues, and often forgets to tell me about incidents. So how can I fix problem behaviors if I do not know about them until a few weeks later?

Well I got a phone call today from the school – he is suspended again for a day. And we are having a meeting on the 8th of February with his BIP team to find a solution to his behavior and how to keep him in school, etc. He is also scheduled for an evaluation for ASD and to see if he can have a social worker with him at school.

Now here is the thing, next school year we are going to home school him. But right now we are waiting on the testing for the ASD and for him to finish up the school year. I need to prep to home school him too. But in the mean time I am struggling keeping him out of trouble. I often wonder why he can’t just NOT misbehave. It’s frustrating, and the school always seems like he is the ONLY child to ever misbehave. I gave them resources for years, they used to have access to his old therapist before she quit, and they only used her once and when they did he helped them! It was amazing – they listened to her suggestion and the problem was solved.

Now they are finally getting the school psychologist involved. My son will have outbursts when kids who tease him bother him or touch him. He will also have outbursts when people touch him on accident (sensory issues), and I have tried to get him help and the school does have him in occupational therapy but even they don’t seem to understand these things… when we had a meeting they were more worried about his hand writing than the sensory issue… the sensory issue is what makes him act out a lot…not the hand writing thing.

I might need to take him to an outside facility again – he went to one for 2 years before but I hated their billing department so much – they were always waiting 3 months to bill and we are high deductible, so I would always have to call them and notify them that they have to RE-BILL because we met our deductible already. I work in the medical field in coding so I know how this stuff works, but having to fight with a company all the time about bills is just frustrating.

I feel like I am in this alone with my son. My ex doesn’t have to deal with it because he only sees our son in the summers for one month. My husband lets me deal with all medical stuff for our kids. And is not helpful with my son’s behavior and I feel like he just doesn’t get along with him anymore.

I love my son but I just wish I knew how his brain worked. None of my friends or family have kids like him. I wish I could find more people with kids who have similar issues to see what they do that helps….how do you get your kid to go through one day with out a break down at school? How can I get him to listen?

We do medicate and he does OT at school – we are still looking for a replacement therapist since his old one left and we didn’t click with the new one very well. What do you do with your kids? (please only comment if you have a similar situation, if you have a child with out any disabilities please don’t judge, your techniques will likely not work on my child, there are things that we can’t implement because of his issues). His doctor, before she left (his pcp, not his therapist) suggested he might be on the “spectrum” and that’s why we are waiting to be tested at the school. Just in case you were wondering.

My son is 10 but acts like he is 6. He is VERY immature for his age but is smart. He struggles at learning sometimes because of his ADHD. He literally cannot sit still, ever. He throws fits so fast and will scream and throw things, we have been working on this for YEARS now but the behavior comes and goes. He has a bunch of sensory issues. But I love him. I will remind you that I do love him. I just wish I understood how to help him.


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