Photograph property of MyOnlySecret

This week has been frustrating. My 10 year old son has ADHD, a sensory processing disorder, and a moon disorder. He takes 3 different medications that help him with various aspects of his mental differences. We usually go through Walgreens and just pick up his medication but this month we thought we would try Express Scripts, since we have new insurance and we heard things would be easier and that it would cost less. Now I didn’t realize my son’s doctor would take a few days to order his medication, and then Express Scripts would send said medication via their slowest carrier in the world, or else I would have just told his doctor to just fax the RX to Walgreens this month….

We ran out of his ADHD medication….. (Sends S.O.S. signal)

Now I know not everyone “believes” in ADHD. But I would like to challenge you to sit in a room with my son for 1 hour…. with out his medication. Heck, he is hyperactive WITH his medication. This poor kid literally cannot sit still. He is jumping off couches, and having a hard time just “peopling”. It is hard to see him like this because we have been medication since he was a young child. We saw great improvements with medication and therapy. Now my son isn’t the “typical” ADHD that you think of when you hear about ADHD, no…. he’s the kind that literally cannot function.

My son is in special education due to his mental illness. He was a bright young child back before all the symptoms hit. He still is bright but a bit more…. aloof. He is out there with his imagination, and that’s fine. Kids can have an imagination, kids can go run and play. It’s when they can’t sleep due to their racing thoughts, the endless energy, the inability to see past themselves… it’s a lot.

I have had people tell me my son seems pretty normal for a child with ADHD. And then the medication wears off… (no literally, I had a sibling see this happen) at night time his pills wear off a bit and his inability to stay still spikes. People had this realization that I was not the mom who medicated her son for “no reason”. No we have a reason…. the reason is …. my son was not able to get an education with out medication.

This week has been hell . I knew by the time the medication was ‘shipped’ that it would be at least a day or two late – and that we would be out of pills. Now his pills for his mood disorder did come in on time, the essential ones that he takes twice a day…did not. Last night my son got ZERO sleep. He told me he kept waking up and that he is really tired today. I have been trying to make his pills last by cutting the dose in half -so at least he was not going cold turkey. But tonight and tomorrow he has no pills….

It sucks because we know they will be here either tomorrow or Friday – and we do see his doctor sometime soon – and I will be throwing an adult temper tantrum with his doctors office for taking 3 days to order his medication after we called it in THREE times.

I have been told by some friends that he might “mature” once he hits puberty, and that maybe JUST MAYBE, he might be able to stop some of his medication. It would be nice if he didn’t have to rely on medication his whole life. Life is not going to go easy on him.

I don’t fully understand this illness, but I know how it is to have a mental disorder. I have severe depression. I live with it … and that’s that.

Today I went to the doctor’s office for a cough I have had for 5 weeks now. And the nurse asked me if I had any thoughts of Depression. I said yes, but that I was not there at the visit for those concerns today. He told me to keep fighting. I think he understood that this was just something I live with, but I didn’t need medical attention for it today. He did make sure I felt safe, etc. Which I do. I am not suicidal right now. Just Depressed. I did tell him I would be making an appointment soon to get a new RX for my antidepressants though. I think that re-assured him that I was indeed taking my health seriously – I just had bigger fish to fry right now. Like being able to breathe. That seems important right?

They do want me to see a behavioral therapist though. I know I need to see one too but I feel like I only find doctors who stay for a year – and then they jump ship. My last doctor quit when I got pregnant – so … about a year and a half ago…I haven’t been seen in over a year…

Back to my son, his doctor is nice but he’s old school. It took a lot of pushing on my end to get him to not prescribe a controlled substance. We actually put my son on an antidepressant for part of his ADHD and it helped with his mood disorder. We found other drugs that we found work very well together. My son’s therapist quit last year also. Not his prescribing doctor…. his behavioral therapist whom he spoke to weekly. It sucked. We have not found a new one that clicks with us.

The only good thing about our insurance changing this year is the cost of medication. The plan we were on last year was a high deductible plan – I mean this year we are still on a HDHP but the medication is a copay. It’s separate. Which works for us – because every time I would go to the pharmacy last year I would pay $200 – $300 per medication and the pharmacy staff would feel bad for me. I reassured them that we were fine. We can afford it. We just wish we didn’t have to. But this new insurance only charged us 12.50 for 3 months of pills (this is only one rx, not all 3), but still, the cost of THREE months was less than just ONE month of pills. It is nice to have that option.

Oh and my medication? The one I want to go back on…was not covered by my old insurance… but it IS covered by the new insurance…now it’s not fully covered but… we can afford it. I just feel bad for wanting this medication… it will be 185$ for 3 months of pills…but those pills make me a better person…. so ….. yeah its worth it. I am going to get my doctor to write me that new RX soon so I can get back to being happy.

Now this post is a bit long – sorry about that – so I will end it for today – and maybe post on a lighter subject tomorrow.

But do you take pills or go to therapy… how much do you pay for your mental health or others?

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