Good Afternoon world,
I am in no way new to blogging. I have to warn you that I honestly am trying to find my way in life. I am a 33 year old mother of 2 beautiful, and very difficult children. Well, not the baby, she’s not difficult, she’s just a baby. But I do have a 10 year old with ADHD, a mood disorder, sensory processing disorder and possibly ASD (we are getting him tested very soon).
I have other blogs but I failed to keep them updated due to every day life, work, stress and just over all….I would say depression. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones, I have Major Depressive Disorder (Diagnosed back in 2003). I have lived with it through the years and sometimes I do okay. Other times, like today, I cry.
I don’t want to alienate anyone, but unless you have had depression, you likely will not understand it. And even when you have had it, if you are really happy right now, you sometimes cannot connect with others who have it really bad. It’s a really sucky thing to have. For those of you aware of what depression is and how it is treated here is my shake down so you can understand me better.
I have social anxiety, but I do not have the big “panic attacks” that some people have, I just stress about EVERYTHING. My body sometimes feels like its tied into a huge knot full of pain because of this. I have MDD (Major Depressive Disorder), and have had it since I was a teen.
I am not currently medicated for a few reasons. #1 : cost of medications, #2 : my psych doctor left his practice and I have not found a new doctor, #3 : I want to get pregnant again in the next year or two and am apprehensive about starting and stopping meds all over again (we just did this, I have a 1 year old), #4 : Depression lies, sometimes I just don’t feel like I deserve anything. Including help.
Why blog now if I have failed in the past? Well… I need to blog. I just went PRN at work (I am a medical coder and I work from home) – so I am no longer full time. I did this to take care of my kids and I need to also do some self help. Will I keep this up? I hope so. Join me in my journey. I don’t mind talking to people, you can also find me on Twitter (@MyOnlySecret) you can follow me there and I do follow back often. I also want to meet others who might connect via the differences and similarities in our lives.
So hello, and welcome to my blog. Follow me and keep up to date, and if you would like me to follow you, comment away 🙂 I love to read when I have time, and I love to listen to audio books with my kids.