Time flies when you are having fun being a mom. My daughter turned 18 months old yesterday and I still cannot believe how fast time is going by. I really do feel like she was born only a few months ago, but she is in fact a toddler now. She is almost walking (some of you know about her occupational therapy she gets a few times a month.) I actually spoke to her OT and they said they might be done soon with her, because once she is walking, they feel she is catching up pretty fast now!
I am getting really excited because Lillian is at the stage of ‘walking’ where she is holding on to anything to stand but she won’t let go yet. She will stand up and stand still, but no actual walking. But I can tell she is very close.
Ever since we got a real diagnosis for her food allergies, I feel better about feeding her new things. Because now her doctors know I am not crazy. She has a real allergy. I feel some what validated.
This month is going to be hard, my son is on his trip to see his father in Indiana, and this will be Lillian’s second summer with out her brother around. I think she might actually notice him missing this year, unlike last year. She even knows when the grandmother clock is going to gong, she usually will announce it to me. She is very smart, I cannot wait to see what kind of little kid she will become.
Today I got a hair cut for the first time in 2 years. I cannot believe it took me this long, but I used to work full time, I have two kids, both of which have some sort of special needs, at different times. And up until recently, I just haven’t made time for myself. So I went and got my hair clipped about 4 to 5 inches!
I don’t mind that it is shorter. I like that it feels HEALTHY. I will also post photos soon on twitter of my new hair color. It’s not “drastic” but its different, than the color above. (Yes I dyed my hair tonight as well!)
I wanted to post photos tonight but its the kind of hair color that shows up much better in the sun. My hair is already pretty dark and the photos I took in the bathroom do not do the hair dye justice. So I will figure something out and post to twitter later today or tomorrow. I might do another dye to make it brighter if I don’t think its bright enough in the sun.
I am not bleaching my hair to color it by the way. I have done that in the past and I feel that with my curls, it ruined my hair. I am just trying to add a different shade to my already dark brown hair. And I let my husband pick out the color at the store the other day, he did a decent job at it I must say. He knows I am trying to make some self improvements, to be happier. I used to do this sort of stuff all the time, but since about 7 years ago, things just got to be too much.
I want to change that.
I even mentioned to him that I might want a new tattoo. I have some ideas but I might be going to twitter to see if anyone there that follows me might be able to help me find the perfect addition to my current tattoos. This won’t be something I get soon, this is a project that I will be working on to find the perfect addition to my two tattoos on my back. I am not the type of person to get tattoos everywhere of random things, all of my tattoos have meanings. Both are in remembrance of my uncles, both of which have significance in my life.
My uncle June Bug (nick name), his real name is Enrique, was murdered in 1999. I remember him as being a very gentle and polite man. His tattoo was my first, its a kokopelli. I am native american and he gave me a necklace the last time I saw him a live of a kokopelli (and yes I know what the kokopelli stands for.) My other uncle passed away a few years ago and I will admit I didnt know him well. I got to know him through his journals after he died. I worked at the hospital he passed away at, and I checked on him for family by visiting him during my lunch times for a few weeks/months.
Eventually my family called me and told me hospice said he was dying, I was the only person close enough to make it to him. I held his hand as he died. He had tattoos of some butterflies on his chest. So I added some butterflies to my back for him. I would like my next tattoo to represent my struggles with my depression, I want to document how strong I can be.
But I am having a hard time actually picking something, and a body part to put it on. So I will reach out on twitter and here for some advice soon.
As I said earlier, I am working on myself. I have let too many people treat me like crap for too long. I never used to do that. So I am going to be myself again. I can’t always fit in. And I honestly don’t want to anymore. I love my kids and my husband, and I feel closer than ever to my husband after a bunch of junk happened recently.
I think we needed this change in life. I have connected to some other family members recently and I feel so happy to have such good support online, via the bloggess tribe, my twitter tribe, my besties from NJ, my family, and my husband and kids.
Thank you all for the support.
I have my son 11 months out of the year, which is amazing. But this month is the one month of the year that he visits his father in Indiana. (We live in New Mexico, so it’s pretty far.) It’s always hard to send my child off to see his father. I appreciate the fact that his father does see him in the summers though, but it’s still hard to let a child go off. I only get 1x a week video chats while he is away (until I get him a cell phone at least). My son is only 10 years old, we have been doing this since he was about 3 years old. So I am relatively used to this.
My son’s father and I get along for the most part. We disagree about some things, but honestly, it could be worse. My son has two half brothers in Indiana, so he gets to hang out with them and his cousins. I am a child of divorce and I understand how important these trips are to a child, which is why I never fought them. The only thing I fought was child support and time frames of trips. I trust his father to take care of him, but my son has some issues as I mentioned in the past (adhd, etc) and its very difficult for him to understand that.
Today I dropped my son off at the airport, it was hard. But this year I didn’t cry, yet. I know he will miss his sister, so I sent him with photos, and told him I would skype him some more soon. I don’t know how his sister will do with out him, she is so used to seeing him around. I am sure she will miss him this month.
We had a great week… this was his last week as a 5th grader in home school. While he is away I plan on working on the 6th grade curriculum. My neighbor offered for me to talk to his wife, who taught children for a long time. I might take him up on that offer, since he said she could possibly help me pick a curriculum for my son.
I have been picking up hours at work because the girl I work with is out for a bit. I am trying to not get too much on my plate though. I have been busy being depressed. We brought items over from my Grandma In Law’s house, and it’s been really hard to think she is no longer around. My depression is just kind of hitting hard this week. I made sure to take my medication, I had to stop for a few days because of other medication that made me sick.
In regards to issues I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago – my husband and I have gotten closer. This issue has brought us closer. I love the support I receive from him and I think he is understanding things a bit more. We have had more talks about certain issues. I also have a family member who reached out to me recently – and I am thankful for her. I am not going to mention names, or how she is related but she has been very supportive of my husband and I. And now we talk a bit more… it’s really nice.
I am feeling a bit better – besides the chemical imbalance that I suffer. I found out that my “vocal chord dysfunction” might be acting up. I have been thinking it was bronchitis, but I have been having very similar symptoms to my VCD diagnosis that I had a few years ago. So I am going to ask my doctor what I could possibly do to fix this.
I am going to try to write more often again. I fell off the band wagon for a bit. Too much going on emotionally with the death of two family members. It triggered my depression and I tend to get very withdrawn with depression. Thankfully I haven’t harmed myself in years. The thoughts still come and go. Self harm was something hard to break from. When I had my son almost 11 years ago, I promised him as a baby that I would not hurt myself. And I have kept that promise, even though I spent years hurting myself. The scars may not be visible anymore, but the feelings are still there.
Don’t worry I am safe. I will not harm myself. My children are everything to me. And I know that depression lies. #thebloggestribe
I have honestly wanted to get my DNA tested to see exactly what I am for the longest time. (But generally the cost was just too high for me.) This past Mother’s Day, my husband gifted me an Ancestry DNA kit. Finally, I can see what I am. I knew what my mother, grandmother, and my sister were because they actually did DNA kits a few years ago, but I was wondering what I got from my father’s side.
Along with finding out what percentages I am… I also was connected to THOUSANDS of family members! When my husband did his DNA results, he only matched to a few people, but apparently my family members love DNA tests and I am connected to around 6,000 “close family” and over 69,000 distant matches!
I found out I am less German than my family believed, and I am more “English & Northwestern European.” I am about as native american as my family thought, because my mother previously had her DNA tested, we had an idea. But I did pick up less “spanish” than I thought I would get. My mother’s DNA showed up 30% spanish… so and I only got 4%. It’s interesting how DNA is split up.
I am actually surprised I have any IRISH at all in me. I would often joke to my husband that I have NO IRISH in me. My husband had this DNA test done earlier this year and he is 63% Irish. We were talking about how Irish our daughter might be, because she picked up a lot of my husband’s traits, rather than mine. I told my husband that I can wear shirts that say “a wee bit Irish” now.
My husband bought me the DNA test for Mother’s Day of this year and it took a little less than a month to get my full report! This post is NOT sponsored by Ancestry. But if you would like a discount on your ancestry kit, you could use MY code below!
I have talked about food allergies on here before and we have mentioned how my daughter might have FPIES, since all of her symptoms fit perfectly. We went to an allergist back in October 2018 and the allergist said all the tests came out normal, and that we should just watch what we feed my daughter. But we got no diagnosis at the time.
So I called my daughter’s PCP and requested a second allergist to be called since I wanted a real diagnosis. I let her dr now that I thought it was FPIES. Her doctor is a new doctor and looked up the symptoms and suggested it might be FPIES as well, but wanted an allergist as well to look at her. The appointment was scheduled for 8 months later, because pediatric allergists are hard to come by in my town apparently and since my daughter was gaining weight and we were handling symptoms pretty decently, we did not need an emergency appointment.
Yesterday we saw the allergist and I am happy to say that we were right in our diagnosis.
My daughter will see this doctor again when she is 3 to trial all of her old foods she has been allergic to. Until then we have been suggested to see a GI doctor for anything else since this is more stomach related. We have an appointment for August, which we will discuss with the GI any options on seeing a dietary doctor for food ideas.
My main issue with this food allergy is that my daughter isn’t getting everything she needs from her foods she currently eats. She is allergic to Oats, Rice, Wheat, (some corn sensitivities), pineapple, broccoli, turkey… and so that leaves us with a lot of foods she CAN have right now but I want to ensure she is getting all the vitamins she needs for her brain and body to grow at a healthy rate for her age.
I am just relieved this is just FPIES. The doctor said it sounds like classic fpies, the triggers, the time line…everything.
FPIES can be outgrown… so we are hoping her stomach matures. We hope her body will stop rejecting these foods. But now that her PCP will be told that she has FPIES, we can treat it with out him worrying so much. He was hesitant on giving us medication for the vomiting , but now that he knows that its a normal reaction for fpies, and that zofran is often used in the care for FPIES patients, hopefully we can just have support from our regular doctor.
BTW, I am super sick right now- so even posting this took a lot out of me. I have another post I would like to make, but my goodness…I just can’t. I don’t have the spoons to make that post right now…. #thebloggesstribe
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