Happy Thanksgiving – Be Safe My Friends

Happy Early Thanksgiving to all of my USA followers/friends. This week should be filled with travel, fun, family and love. But I know many of you are choosing to be safe this year. I want to thank everyone that is cancelling their yearly trips to keep their families safe. I want to thank you for not going on that plane – even though you may miss grandma and grandpa this year. I want to thank you for doing friends’ giving via zoom. I want to thank you for giving to others in these hard times.

This year we are keeping it very small. Just my own household and my MIL & FIL. They are retired, don’t work and we also work from home ourselves and homeschool. We will not be going out to see anyone else, and no one else is invited into our home. My own mother and step father are staying at their home a few hours away. I won’t be seeing any friends. And since my grandmother died from COVID on November 15th… I will not be spending any time with her as well.

My family is handling her passing well I think. She was 90 years old. My mother is stressed. And that is to be understood. I am coping in my own way, I bought a bottle of her perfume and I spray it on my sweater. I loved the way she smelled.

Next month, the kids and I have a few routine Dr appointments to go to, so we will be leaving our home a few times, but not many. And I have already made it clear to my family that we will not be doing any XMas gatherings. I knew people would try to invite us to stuff – so I nipped it in the bud and made a post on FB stating that we will miss everyone for XMas this year.

I cannot wait until January 20th. This new change with our government has been 4 years in the waiting. I was firmly against Trump when he first ran and I still am now. His “values” or lack there of – have hurt our country. He has divided us as a nation. We need to heal and our people need a real President. One who will help everyone out during COVID times and not just ignore the masses of people dying. People are out work … out of homes and in hospitals.

I am thankful for this change. I am hoping next year we can have our family gatherings again. I am very hopeful that the COVID vaccines work like they are supposed to. And I hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving this year. I know it will be different. But we can do this.

Don’t go to the stores to Black Friday shop – Don’t go out in huge gatherings. Be safe.

Rest In Peace – Inez Lucero

I have never thought that COVID was a joke. When it first hit, I was one of the first people wearing a mask out to the stores. I forbid my husband to go out so at least one of us would not get sick if I got sick going grocery shopping. We limited interactions with ALL family. And when things got lifted we stayed careful, we stayed 6 ft apart or more and wore masks. We refused invites to most events and the others were outdoors and we still wore our masks.

But it takes everyone’s cooperation to beat COVID, not just mine.

Last week I was told that my grandmother, Inez Lucero, came down with COVID after her room mate in the nursing home she was staying at tested positive. My grandmother was coughing and she started to have a fever. Her nursing home was officially infected, 7-8 months into the COVID lock down. They stayed good for so long but it was only time…

New Mexico is having an uncontrolled spread of the virus right now and we are actually going back into lockdown tomorrow, Monday November 16th. I am all for the lock down, the hospitals are overwhelmed and we need to stop the spread. But this brings up issues now that my grandmother has passed…. can we have a funeral… I know I can’t see her.

I am struggling with the unknown right now. I’ll never know her scent again. I wish I could have seen her one more time, or said good bye to her. To let her know how much I love her and how much the kids love her. But COVID is a cruel virus… it takes from us and keeps it away. We don’t get to say good bye.

But I know she isn’t suffering anymore. And that gives me some happiness. I don’t even know if happiness is the word. Relief? Yes that’s it. She has been done for so long. And now she can be at rest.

I am hurting and I know the pain will pass eventually and I can look back the wonderful memories I have of her. The times of her giving my brother and I fudge pops when she would watch us while my mom worked two jobs, as a single mother to support us. I remember grandma and I shared a room for a while, and she SNORED so loud. I remember her buying me skimpy clothes and telling me to show off what I had, but my mother knew I was shy and told me I didn’t HAVE to wear the clothes grandma bought me. And I remember she liked to drink beer…. and one day when we were walking in California toward the beach she stopped and chatted with some young Mexican men and asked for a beer, it was HILARIOUS. They LOVED her. And yes she got a beer.

I’ll miss her hugs. She cried every time she saw me. I will miss the times when she was going deaf my mom would tease when she couldn’t hear us. Also – before you yell at me about that- I found out its hereditary and I too am losing my hearing HAHA justice is served. I will remember the time she met my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, and shes legally blind…. she asked very loudly “IS HE A GRINGO?” and I had to yell “YES GRANDMA HE IS” and yes she is Hispanic.

I want to hug my mother. To let her know it’s okay. She’s lost her mother and her father now. I sent her something in the mail yesterday, because the information she told me about grandma’s health told me she was not going to make it. I code charts for Hospice patients and Home Health, I know the wording used for end of life. When a nurse says certain things, it means something… I too was hopeful that things would turn around but I cried last night for so long that today I woke up with puffy eyes. And now it hurts to cry even more that I know she is gone.

Grandma Inez, you are with your mother now, and your two sons and your daughter. May you rest in peace.

We are almost there!

I haven’t really been covering the election because that is not what my blog is about. And honestly I have been working on my self this year so it’s been hard to write. But I am just over joyed that we are turning blue. I know there will be recounts and all my republican friends online are freaking out, but I am just very happy to see this as a possible change. I am a democrat 100% so don’t try to change my mind about it.

But this year I have had close family switch parties to vote blue.

They are sick of Trump and so am I.

I can’t stand here quietly while my friends’ rights are being threatened –

My LGBTQ+ friends –

My Black friends –

My female friends – (our rights are at risk too)

There are so many more but those stand out this year …

I don’t talk about it much but I am indeed Bisexual – so when people ask me “what if your child came out as gay” all I have to say to them is “So what?” When I came out to my mom she told me “I LOVE YOU NOT MATTER WHAT — -UNLESS YOU WERE AN AXE MURDERER, THEN I WOULDN’T”

And that’s support ❤

And to this day I have not become an axe murderer! But I believe love is love …. I mean so here is also a revelation I had recently…. I might actually be Pansexual…. I am still a bit…confused on the terms but I don’t believe my love is defined by gender… But what ever – if someone hates me because I LOVE different from them- then let them hate me. I want to be more openly supportive of my people in the future. I think I let the fear silence me when I used to be so open as a teen.

It’s like the time someone ousted my religious beliefs at work –

I was working front desk and I wear a pentacle – I am a pagan- and have been since I was 13.

I don’t make a big deal out of it – but someone noticed my necklace (a customer) and they asked what kind of pagan I was, IN FRONT OF MY VERY VERY CATHOLIC coworkers….

My coworkers were shocked and said “I THOUGHT YOU WERE JEWISH”

And the customer apologized to me but I assured them that it was okay and that my coworkers really should have known.

But after that I was treated differently by a few coworkers… fun times… but what ever. See how things are ? Well they have gotten worse in the last 4 years… I keep seeing people using Trump as an excuse to be an asshole.

NO – if you don’t agree with my religion or sexuality – IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO DESTROY MY LIFE – mind your own damn business. My husband knows my sexuality – he knows my religion. He knows and it doesn’t matter to him ❤

I’ve been showing him how people treat me differently than him… he’s a white straight male….

On our honeymoon I was treated differently in the states we went to – I almost forgot people don’t like hispanics…. I live in New Mexico and I am part of a majority so I don’t get the hate all the time, but it reminded me of when I lived in New Jersey and was harrassed all the time for being hispanic.

So yes- I am damn happy we are going blue. I have met more democrats willing to live and let live over all….

Not all republicans are bad – but the trump ones are ANOTHER STORY. They are giving republican’s a bad name….

Sorry for the rant – and if this somehow makes it to my family – I hope you can accept me still. But don’t bug me about my beliefs… I have loved THIS WAY for a very long time – I have been the same religion for more than half my life -and if you didn’t know this – it’s because you never asked. I am pretty open about my beliefs, if you ask. But I generally won’t throw them in your face, because I respect that some people may not be ready for this information or may not care about it. So live and let live. ❤

#VOTE

Hey readers! Just a small note to remind you to go out and vote! Yes I am talking to YOU! I personally already voted via Absentee Ballot, and it has already been received by my county clerk’s office (yes I tracked it) and my husband is voting this weekend in person!

Your vote can make a difference.

Don’t waste it.

Don’t assume you can’t change things.

#VOTENOW

Time got away from me

It’s October already and here is what is new –

We are still social distancing – we did go to one wedding with masks on and sadly pretty much no one else wore a mask. So we didn’t socialize as much. My husband even turned down eating the cake. Oh well… we are going to be cancelling or declining many other events in the near future. When we do go to events we are avid mask wearers.

It was a cute wedding though and I am glad they didn’t “cancel” it completely. And I am happy we went…I just wish people wouldn’t treat masks as if it were such a hassle. And I wish people wouldn’t give ME looks for wearing one.

I will remind everyone again… I WORE MASKS BEFORE COVID… I have a condition that causes me to cough a lot and feel like I can’t breath and wearing a mask helps me during certain times. So I am used to looks …. I am used to being judged….

Well – so what else is new? I am getting into stock photography and videos. I have decided with my declining hours to look into something I love. And I have been into photography for a long time now. I want to reignite my love for it and get new ideas for projects. I would like to eventually do more freelance work . I signed up for a stock photography site last month and sold my first photo this month. So that was nice.

I know its not a job that will bring in a lot of money. It is mainly to practice and get better.

So last month my father also had a hard time – he had a subdural hematoma and had to have a craniotomy to release the pressure and fluid. He is doing better now but is still having issues here and there.

I started a diet and work out this last week. I finally feel like I have enough energy to do this. I got off cymbalta. Even though it helped with my back pains …it caused very serious withdrawal symptoms.

My son is still enjoying being homeschooled and is doing very well. People keep asking me if I am going to homeschool my younger daughter, and honestly we don’t know yet. She is going to do homeschool/preschool for sure with COVID going on, but my husband feels she would do well in public school. I think when the time comes we will think about it.

We are trying to figure out when we will install my uncles headstone. So many things happen in October…

I will try to write more often. There isn’t much going on though. Maybe I will post photos and stuff here ? Hmm yes… I will try. I am also going to decide if I STILL want to be a coder because I am due to renew my certification and honestly with the hours I am not getting… I don’t know….

Time to talk to my husband about that… that way we can decide together. I mean I actually QUIT a few years ago and my boss asked me to work PRN, which is what I am doing now..but as a PRN employee the company I work for no longer pays my yearly fees or for my CEUs… and that was a big perk.

Okay off to bed I go, I legit need to make myself a bed time.

ABQ Mom

Im just trying to evolve

@HopelessOptimst

Im just trying to evolve

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